I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
