Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
