I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
