Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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