Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize