Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
