I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
