she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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