my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize