i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
