I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
