the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
