He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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