I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
