You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
