i think my tv is drunk
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
did you just send me my own nude
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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