im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
