I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
