He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
