don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
