I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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