Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
