how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
