I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
