how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
