hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
