I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
