that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
