i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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