there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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