Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
