I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize