I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
