I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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