Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
