Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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