after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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