Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
