If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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