I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
