Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
