A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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