dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
being pregnant is like rehab
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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