I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
