her vagine was all disorganized.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
