true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize