and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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