there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
