i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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