I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
