he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize