I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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