i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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