Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
