I got chris browned last night
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
