i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
