dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
