I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
