my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
