Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
