I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
