i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
