how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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