Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
