So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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