Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
be right there i have to get my cape
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
