you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
That's intense
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize