And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
