My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
