I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
