i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
