I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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