If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
