I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
