he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
