She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
