I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
